Final Fantasitc 10

I've been absent from blogging for a while and although I feel somewhat guilty about leaving people hanging, I also struggle with the feeling of 'who cares'.  In my daydreams, I see a million people reading my blog and getting something out of it, but my head says " yeah right, who the heck would read you're elementary babbling" .....anyway I'm straying from what I really wanted to do, which was write the last in my series. It isn't the final last as my title suggests but the last for now......

As I've said before there are really a handful of things a struggle with on a daily basis. Daddy issues.....food addiction, and OCD.  It's not like these things are extremely tragic when compared to the struggles of others on a daily basis, but these are the things that make me tick I guess you could say.  I am finally at a point where I have resigned to the fact that I will always have daddy issues, I don't think they will ever go away, I do think that it has become a little easier as I've grown older.  As far as the food addiction is concerned, well.....that is an ongoing battle.  I struggle everyday on making good choices and trying to be a good example to my child.  Really this is what it boils down to, not making my son a carbon copy of myself, well the bad parts anyway.

. I don't want him to experience the pain of feeling like his dad doesn't love him....I don't want him to experience the pain of being addicted to food or anything else for that matter and I don't want him to experience the pain of OCD, obviously I can't control the latter, but I do have control over teaching him healthy food choices and I'm very lucky to have a husband who loves his son and shows him on a daily basis.


So how does one show their child how to make healthy choices when a food addiction is thrown into the mix? I have no clue.....well that isn't entirely true, but throw in the fact that I am a first time mom and am always second guessing or questioning  my food decisions, that is where it becomes tricky.  Look, I know I am not the first mom to feel like this, and I take comfort in knowing, that there are a million other people in the world who feel the same way I do.  How do I not mess my kid up for the rest of his life?? How do I not let him become an overweight kid? How do I ...just how do I...everything.

I am working my way through these questions, as best as I know how.  I'm not perfect and that makes me happy.   After everything....at the end of the day, none of my problems really matter, what matters is that I show my own child how much I love him, and how special and unique he is as a person.

I think this is a good place to end.......I don't want to complain anymore about my issues, or troubles. Hopefully someone out there somewhere feels like they aren't alone in their problems.